5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
