He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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