maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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