haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
