I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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