Just mADE A PArabola og urine
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
