So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I want a musical about memes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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