And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
