If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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