I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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