He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize