If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
