Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
