maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
