I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
