Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
