You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
