is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
