these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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