I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
