I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
