And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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