i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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