I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Someone shit on the floor
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
