I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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