Where is the hickey?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i need some magic done to my vagina
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
