Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
