FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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