I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
