i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
