i barfeds in our rink
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
