im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
