I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm too high and old for this...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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