You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
