I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
