we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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