Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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