There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
