not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
