my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
