just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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