Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize