I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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