kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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