He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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