That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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