I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You made out with two different species that night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
