try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
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Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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