i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
