OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
