Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
