and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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