She is in my trunk
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
