Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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