If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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