is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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