Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Randomize
