do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
