I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
