Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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