his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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