I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
