come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
