id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just found puke in my bra..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
