i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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