I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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