I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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