I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
