Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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