That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
