I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
