i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
