I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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